Huge equals box office bonanza. Otherwise this would be Robocop in Jurassic Park, with computer generated everything.
But wait! Who wants to go down the apocalyptic path to world destruction? Again?
This time it is alien creatures from the depth of the ocean, aiming to colonise Earth, trash it and move on.
Apparently, they breathe air, like Godzilla, and once on land crush cities by walking over them, making deafening sounds, magnified to typhoon levels.
Japan and the west coast of America take the brunt of their nastiness.
Bullets and bombs are like midge bites, annoying, but not life threatening.
Eventually, US boffins come up with a possible solution, RoboDaddies, about the size of the Empire State Building and operated from inside by twin “pilots”.
To explain the intricate technology of these fighting machines would take until next week.
What they do is have underwater punch-ups with the monsters. Sometimes they win; sometimes they don’t.
Yes, it is that simple.
Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am!
The film is 40 minutes too long and the 3-D is a waste of specs.
The hunky young heroes all look alike, with the exception of Rinko Kikuchi, pictured below, who is Japanese and a girl.
The man they call Stacker Pentecost, played in one dimension by our very own Idris Elba (Luther, The Wire), behaves like an apprentice dictator – no humour, no listen, no character.
A couple of nerdy scientists who speak so fast you can’t understand them are the comic relief – no comic, no relief.
The film is borderline boring, despite superb special effects, and the plot could hardly be more predictable.
The human race might as well throw in the towel when Stacker begins a speech to his troops,
“At the edges of your hope, at the end of our time...”